Just Trying To BREATHE…

I am like a little child, and I live like one. Mostly due to my “brain chemistry” which led to traumatic life events. So, God in His grace has delivered me from “trauma” and “stress.” However, I’m struggling to find my “safe place” which I live in daily. From morning till night, I hide in my Dad. I find refuge and safety there. Honestly, I am like a little scared child when I’m not able to find that “safe space.” People can laugh and say, “grow up!” And say, “just take responsibility into your own hands” and, “life is hard” and… blah blah blah! And never have even a clue what “life is hard” even means! Because life was AWFULLY hard, then God in Christ took that life away. The problem is, I’m currently scared, confused, unsure, feel alone, misunderstood, and feel like I’m that little kid trying to find a safe haven just to breathe and rest once again. You see, I have been through all kinds of things; battled lions, and giants, and men. But I always did it in the faith and confidence of the Lord who I knew was leading and empowering me! But right now, I’m overwhelmed by what I’m unable to “make sense of.” And when someone cannot get ahold of their foundation, or doesn’t know where to go, or what to do, then it’s a different story…

THEN [update: Now, this is the next day. What I wrote above was the night before]. This morning (the next day) I went to church, worshipped, received hugs, prayed, listened, and …received prayer and then perspective. I was reminded that when things don’t “add up” according to the Word of God and our faith then we must look elsewhere to notice that there is another power at work (Satan) who seeks to shoot darts of doubt regarding our Father’s good intentions to hear and answer us according to His love. That insight restored hope that I had not been forgotten. Therefore, I came home after church and boldly approached the throne of grace, testifying to the truth about my God and His faithfulness and my trust in that faithfulness! Amen.

This post is a testimony of the necessity to pray, and to reach out for prayer. And to listen to encouragement and the wisdom of others when things don’t appear quite right according to the God who you know and who knows you.